As comedy powerhouse Kumar takes the world by storm with his Kumarsutra Greatest Hits World Tour, Augustman steals a moment with the stand-up comic for an exclusive heart-to-heart and uncovers an inspiring story of true mettle, forged in the fire of rape and rough upbringing, and the positive attitude to turn pain into power, wisdom and an outstanding career in spreading laughter.
Defined by its jocular style, comedy remains the least likely genre to be taken seriously, and yet it has been a subject of scholarly analysis since the time of Aristotle with comedians being categorically distinguished as amongst the most intelligent people throughout history.
Endowed with a deep insight into human nature and public affairs, they wield the virtue of humour to break boundaries and effect positive change and new perspectives, all while inspiring laughter with their unique, amusing outlooks on life.
In Southeast Asia, Kumar stands out a mile as one of the most esteemed standup comedy artists of our generation. Hailing from Singapore, the comedian fondly known to all by just the mononym Kumar (like Madonna) has spent the last 30 years tickling our funny bones all the way into our hearts, breaking nearly every imaginable type of boundary along the way with his unique brand of witty, caustic and largely observational comedy, making him a bona-fide household name and cultural icon from the city-state to Malaysia, and beyond.
Taking the stage at the turn of the 1990s, Kumar quickly became a driving force that helped propel standup comedy from the underground/alternative to the mainstream despite scrutiny from authorities and the conservative environment surrounding his cross-dressing and provocative jokes on politics, sex and race, paving the way for the next generation of standup comics along with a more progressive mindset across society.
Kumar’s ongoing body of work serves as a useful guide that charts the progression of pop culture – from the popularisation of the SPG (Sarong Party Girls) phenomenon to racial discriminations and shifts in perspectives and government policies, to the Internet of Things.
His larger-than-life wardrobe, which we reckon will give Carrie Bradshaw a run for her money, ranging from straight-up majestic (the finale number in Kumar Guilty) to girl power-glam (the Wonder Woman and Ginger Spice’s Union Jack-inspired costumes in Dream Academy’s 50 Days of Laughter – talk about empowerment), is on point with his dignified persona and daring spirit, giving expression to a figure of power and influence, on and off-stage.
Jacket and trousers by Moschino
What we’ve discovered since is that, on top of having to face the adverse reactions of his own divorced parents when he first ventured into the industry as a drag queen, the comedian was also sexually taken advantage of by a close family friend at the young age of just 10, among other above-the-average growing pains.
Ahead of the Kumarsutra Greatest Hits 2023 World Tour, with stops in Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines and more, Augustman was given an exclusive opportunity to meet with the stalwart of comedy for an intimate conversation, courtesy of LOL Asia.
Yet, Kumar is no victim of shame and his broken past. The artist has since blossomed into not just a royalty of comedy, but also a force to be reckoned with, a beacon of inspiration – an individual who defies classification.
HEART-TO-HEART WITH KUMAR
What new materials can we expect from you this time around?
A lot of observational comedy, like how to keep the marriage going. if you’re single, don’t just depend on a dating app to find your soul mate. You need to go out and meet someone in person. Dating apps are horrible; they can only show so much about a user, mostly their hobbies.
What about you, what do you look for?
I’m on Grindr and find it very hard to find honest people. Tinder is the same. The only difference is that on Grindr you don’t need to swipe; you chat immediately. On Tinder, you have to swipe and wait, message them and see who matches.
Are people surprised when they see your profile?
A lot of them are. They are like, “Are you sure it’s you? Are you phishing or something?” I’d say, “No. It’s me.” Why can’t I be lonely? Because a lot of people think I’m already in a very happy relationship, or I’m a slut, I just sleep around, or I’m too bitchy for them. I mean, they’ll give many excuses, but also, for the younger generation, like those in their 20s, many have mental health issues.
Why do you think that is the case?
Reports have shown that loneliness has overtaken cancer because the younger generation is always on their phone, so much that when they go to a social setting, they don’t know how to socialise. So what do they do? They isolate themselves. That’s when they go into depression and have sad thoughts. Reports from the US have announced that anywhere more than two hours per day on your phone is considered unhealthy already.
What can one do to help?
We have to tell them, firstly, you’re not alone, and then to come out of it. Don’t know how to socialise? Start socialising, that’s all. When you go out with your family or friends, just talk. You don’t have to sound intelligent; you just have to be open to communication. But kids don’t do that. They either just shrug their shoulders or walk away. It’s because they have their phones. And what happens is, on Grindr, when I meet some people, they have anxiety, or they stammer. Some try to outdo you or outsmart you even, which they don’t have to.
Perhaps they just feel intimidated, or inadequate, because you’re someone famous.
Yeah, definitely. Perhaps I’m also older and more experienced, but I’m not even a university graduate. Everything is self-taught. Some of them are just purely after sex, and I don’t know how to just meet someone now and have sex like that. I need to talk to you, understand you, and feel some kind of chemistry, right?
But my friend told me, no need. Just go there and have sex and go. I said, really? I can’t. I suppose society has progressed so much now that every family has a gay person.
What is your final thought on the Labuan incident where your show was almost cancelled?
Apparently, PAS said that I shouldn’t be allowed to perform because I’m a transgender. But how am I a transgender? A transgender is someone who lives that lifestyle. I don’t. It’s only for work that I wear a dress.
More importantly, how is my personal life a factor in my professional life? If my sexual orientation is an issue, then gay performers from before like George Michael and Freddie Mercury shouldn’t have been allowed to perform or broadcast.
Trench coat and trousers by Valentino; shirt, stylist’s own
What do you think of the ever-expanding LGBTQ community?
I think they should just take out all the letters. My time was so easy and now we have the more complex non-binary. That’s confusing. I met a transgender recently, a 19-year-old transgender and his lover is a girl. Does it make sense to me? You’re going to transition to a girl, but your partner is a woman. How does it work? If you’re non-binary, which toilet do you use? You know what I mean? I think it’s going to backfire, like cannabis in Thailand. It’s going to backfire.
I come from a conservative background. I still want to be a bit more conservative about certain things. Otherwise, we might as well just walk around naked. I don’t expect someone to come out of the closet at a young age. Even in Singapore, I will not agree to gay marriage because of our multi-racial country. We have many religions; we still have the senior citizens who don’t believe in this. Maybe until after they’ve gone. It’s out of respect.
What do you feel about the Malaysian audience?
Malaysians are a better audience than a lot of other places. Wherever I went, like, London, Australia, it was always 80% Malaysian. Malaysians are very good because they know they are here to laugh. Singaporeans will cringe a bit when I do something that is a bit insensitive, but now they are a bit more open.
Some still cringe when I talk about politics. They’d be like, can laugh? We are brought up that way, cultured by the government to not make fun of it. The audience here on the other hand are great.
Talking about upbringing, we’ve been informed that you have had it quite rough. Do you mind sharing?
I was raped at the age of 10 by my mother’s best friend, and again at the age of 18. And when I was raped at 10, I couldn’t tell anyone, because I come from a very conservative Indian family. And my father was abusive. My mother didn’t believe me. But I told her like 10 years later. I didn’t tell anyone.
“When I was raped at 10, I couldn’t tell anyone, because I come from a very conservative Indian family. And my father was abusive. My mother didn’t believe me.”
How did you take it at first?
Shocked. How could someone do that to me? I wondered. Then I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone, so I just kept it within myself and just moved on. But, since young, I’ve always felt that there’s someone else out there who’s suffering more than me. That’s how I keep myself in a positive state of mind.
What did you do to go on with life?
You want to know the truth? I went back. Again. Yeah, because I liked the manly touch, because I didn’t get it from my dad. My father was just a provider. I liked the feeling of a father figure. So I went back. The second time around was for the feeling of being intimate. Maybe that’s how I overcame it.
Because those days in Singapore there was no help. You couldn’t call the police. But now, so much of help is available for domestic violence and child abuse that you can’t even punish your kids. It’s considered as family violence now in Singapore. Help is everywhere. Mental health does help. If you are raped, there’s help. So there’s no way people can say I’ve a very sad story. There’s help. Go seek it.
“Help is everywhere. Mental health does help. If you are raped, there’s help. So there’s no way people can say I’ve a very sad story. There’s help. Go seek it.”
It’s almost like a privilege these days to have so much help.
Even our army boys are so privileged and yet they are still complaining. You know what I mean? I mean if it rains or shines, or too hot, training is cancelled. Back in my time, it’s not until you die that you stop. And they are increasing their pay. Now they are already earning close to a $1,000 per month.
Jacket by Moschino, artwork Songsang by Adam Ummar a.k.a. Univorso, digital print on fabric, 2023
Speaking of national service, did you have to go through a lot of social stigmas or bullying?
Yeah, the “ah gua” or “bapuk” were like my middle name. I had to sit through that throughout my school. I was angry, but I knew something was wrong with me because I’m different from the boys. I knew it. So, I would just go to one corner and cry. My friends, mostly girls, would always comfort me with the expression “barking dogs don’t bite.”
“I was angry, but I knew something was wrong with me because I’m different from the boys. I knew it. So, I would just go to one corner and cry. My friends, mostly girls, would always comfort me with the expression ‘barking dogs don’t bite.'”
As a comedian, how do you deal with criticism?
You just push them aside. Though a lot of people say I don’t care what people say but you do have to care to a certain level. I watch TikTok now, I don’t comment because my 2023 motto is don’t say anything if you have nothing nice to say. That’s the safest thing.
I would ask myself, “What are you going to get out of it? Does it make you feel better by being not nice? Does it make you a better person?” It doesn’t. Anyone can go viral for the wrong reasons. Everything has a consequence, it’s just a matter of whether it’s going to work for you or work against you. I have had really bad comments before, like “You really got no talent.” People are saying it for fun, so you can always move on. To me, if you don’t like it, why are you still watching and wanting to comment?
As a standup comedian, have you also observed bigger problems among society these days?
Yes, kids especially. Very soon we’re going to start educating kids about drugs in school in Singapore. Australia has banned vaping because they realise primary school students are vaping, but the important question is where are people selling them, and where do kids get their money from?
During my time, we buy alcohol by the glass or jug during clubbing. Now it’s by the bottle. Where do the 18 and 19-year-olds get their money from? Parents. Some youths are even engaged in solicitation. And then there’s the swingers’ club, which has taken sex to another level. I understand orgy, but not this swinging, swapping and watching my wife have sex with another man.
Recently a group of eight was actually caught in Singapore for drugging their wives and raping them. The world is indeed becoming a more dangerous place, and these are actually straight people.
Are you attracting the younger generation?
Okay, one of the good things that happened during COVID is that I started to do a lot more TikTok videos and it has since started to attract a younger generation of audience. There’s a big pool of younger, above 18, coming out again to watch me. So, I’m also educating them to stay away from their phones and communicate more in person.
The solution to all this is communication. Be nice to your parents and everyone else. Be nicer to the elderlies in your house. Don’t make them feel lonely. Old people and senior citizens just want to be noticed. Just make sure you don’t treat them like part of your furniture. But a lot of old people do feel like part of the furniture. They shouldn’t be considered as a burden.
“Be nicer to the elderlies in your house. Don’t make them feel lonely. Old people and senior citizens just want to be noticed. Just make sure you don’t treat them like part of your furniture.”
For parents, you should educate your kids to treat their grandparents with respect. They are going sooner than you think. While they are here, just show them some kind of kindness. I see a lot of younger people attending my shows these days. Last Monday, I had about 130 of them watching me perform live for the first time.
How did it go?
It was very good. They were young, like 18. They saw me on TikTok and decided to watch me live. It’s a good motivation for me.
Jacket and trousers by Moschino
Speaking of family, how has your relationship been with your family since you’ve grown up?
I’ve kept my sisters very close. We have gatherings every Sunday at my house where we cook, mingle and bond. I’ve kept my nephews and nieces close too even though they all have their lives now and we don’t get to meet as often, but if there’s a celebration or there’s a festival, like Deepavali or Christmas, I’ll make sure I put everyone together.
Family is very important. You can have friends and everything, but family is very important. When you grow older, you start appreciating family more. But, because my nephews and nieces are all doing their own thing now, I’ve also learnt not to expect more in life. If it doesn’t happen, just move on. For example, if I invite my friends and they don’t come to the house, I’ll just let go and not keep a grudge. If your kids take care of you when you grow old, then praise be to God.
Do you use comedy to cope with your stress?
Yes, comedy helps a lot. They’ve also found out that it’s good for people with heart problems to watch comedy. When they laugh, their heart opens up. Comedy has helped a lot of people who are going through depression, suicidal thoughts, divorce, etc. Watch some comedy and you might come out a changed person. Comedy also creates a more positive vibe among friends and people around you.
Take life simple, live a simple life and don’t think too much. Don’t settle with small stuff actually; it’s not worth it. If you have a friend who doesn’t like your company, move on and just make another friend. All those frivolous friends, you know, all there just for the ha-ha or for the free drinks are out from my list.
“It’s good for people with heart problems to watch comedy. When they laugh, their heart opens up. Comedy has helped a lot of people who are going through depression, suicidal thoughts, divorce, etc. Watch some comedy and you might come out a changed person.”
Relationship-wise, how hard has it been for you?
It’s been very hard, so hard I still can’t find any partner. The last candidate I was talking to was an ang moh, but he turned out to be a scammer. So I’m very careful now. Like standup comedy, you can’t go for lessons for this like this, so it’s inbuilt. When I was younger and abused so much, mentally and physically, it was very tiring, but instead of turning to drugs or becoming a gangster, I took the other way. Let’s just fight it. It’s your own battle, so you must keep on fighting albeit slowly.
As you age, what keeps you motivated?
Since young, I have always wanted to prove to people that I’m better than them because I always wanted to be at the top so that I don’t become complacent. Now, whatever the younger comedians do, they cannot touch me, because my stuff is totally different from theirs; I can say more things than them because I’ve been doing this for over 30 years. So, you do your thing, I do my thing. We don’t come in between.
I thank God for all my audience who have followed me, stayed true to me and grown with me. Back in the 1990s, I couldn’t handle the fame, so I locked myself in. But now, it’s better; people have learned to give you your space and are more understanding, mostly because I don’t even think of myself as a star, I’m just working. We are not Hollywood stars. You are only a star when you’re getting paid in the millions and you can retire as and when you want. I’m still working.
Banner image: jacket and trousers by Moschino.
Words by KC YAP; photography by BIBO ASWAN; art direction by JOYCE LIM; grooming by JOEY YAP; hair by KEN LIM
